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New Boots

January 25, 2012

I just thought you should know something.  Since it applies to the nature of the blog I thought it would be good to mention it.  Besides, this blog could use a post, right?

I’m writing again.

After the long and weird year that was 2011, I’m back to the fine craft of telling stories to myself and then hoping that someone, somewhere likes them too.  In a way, it sort of crept up on me.  More accurately, I would say it slid up next to me in my subconscious like a submerged reptile, looking at me with its gleaming and hungry eyes.

Yes, my writing is an ambush predator.

When I wrote here last I was doing something I had never done before.  I had given up on having any writing goals.  No word counts.  No time in chair.  Nothing.  None.  Zip.  Nada.  What was I thinking?  I ended that post with the wonderfully archaic kernel of truth, “It’s about the journey, not the destination.”  I busted out laughing so loud reading that sentence yesterday I’m sure I startled my neighbor.

I laughed because 2011 proved it.  As a journey, 2011 was an amazing, terrifying ass kicking I never saw coming.  Somehow, someway, a part of me knew it ahead of time and took a little of the pressure off in advance in regards to my writing.  No goals, no pressure, right?  Of course, it means not much writing either.  I really didn’t write anything last year.  Well, nothing in fiction anyway.  I wrote on  I poked around here and there with some small bits of fiction for an MMO game I play.

This is because, elsewhere,  I was getting my head handed to me.

I lost my job in March.  I floated in a weird limbo state for a month or so afterwards.  I kept looking for jobs but there was nothing happening.  I kept kicking around the idea of using the extra time to write but for some reason, I never did.  It never came to me or, using the analogy from above, maybe I never ventured close enough to shore?  Regardless, I did what I felt was right.  I worked on other projects, I kept applying to jobs and spent time with my family.  In late summer an incredibly freakish alignment of supernatural forces allowed me to return to college after being gone for 20 years and finish my degree.  It had to be supernatural.  It was the only way to explain my ability to get financial aid for the whole thing.

I went from coasting to an action packed overload of credit hours so as to get things done in one semester.  Nothing much else existed in the span from late August to December.  Nothing but books, paper writing, classes and relearning that most interesting of dances, the academic shuffle.  I persevered.  The dragon was conquered and a 20 year quest was complete.  What I got out of it was something more powerful than a diploma.  I had gained self-confidence.

With the end of the year came a chance to relax, overlook my achievements and to spend time with my family and friends.  I sat on the beach of my accomplishment and allowed the storm of 2011 to drift away as quickly as it had rolled in.  I fiddled with the little umbrella in my drink, relaxed, closed my eyes and mulled over my options as you would on vacation.  Perhaps a nice walk on the beach later and then a visit to that nice restaurant?  Oh, yes, that sounds very nice and tomorrow we’ll take a hike and make dinner for the family.

And that’s when the damn alligator jumped me!

It hit me with story ideas and death-rolled me so I couldn’t sleep at night.  I would hear dramatic music and scenes would start to gnash at me.  Characters growled to me in my downtime.  They grabbed, tugged, twisted and pulled me back into the water with the only thing left behind was a little pink drink umbrella tilted and askew on the ground.  For a two weeks it bashed me badly and I couldn’t understand what was happening.  I was depressed.  I was tortured.  I was unfocused.  I needed to DO something but for the life of me I couldn’t figure it out.

Then, well, I did and here I am, proudly wearing a fine set of alligator boots and once again looking at long hours sitting by myself at my desk and typing about people and things that don’t really exist. (or do they?)

One destination reached only means another journey can now begin.

That’s fine.  I’m looking forward to it.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Chair Spinner permalink
    January 26, 2012 9:08 am

    *bounce bounce bounce*
    *shakes pom poms*

    This. This is good.

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