The Job

I made a New Year’s resolution a few days ago.  I knew what it was going to be weeks before the first cold air arrived in my town.  I knew it before the first snow fell.  I knew in Autumn that it was time to take the opportunity of a new year to really make a stand.   The resolution?  To work hard, real hard, at being a writer.  This blog was the first baby steps to get it going.  Now, it’s the new year, 2010, and it’s time for me to move forward.

My life is not very conducive to writing.  I think a lot of people can say that right off the bat.  I’ve got three kids, I’ve got a full time job and I’ve got responsibilities that pull me left and right with nary a warning.  I go to bed at 11 or Midnight.  I get up at 6 in the morning and am on the move almost immediately.  I get home late and after dinner the day has caught up with me.  My brain is typically mush.  I get an hour lunch break but I find it difficult to only work for thirty, forty minutes and then have to return to the desk.  Weekends are busy and there are events to attend, bills to pay, laundry to do, chores to perform, family to visit. It’s really not a good life in which to be a writer.

And, though all the above is true, my attitude about it was simple bullshit.

Late last year I reached a place in my life where sitting around and not writing was becoming far too painful.  I realized that although I was in a difficult situation, I was not in an impossible one.  It could be done and I was going to do it.  As the holiday break approached in early December I took several weeks off my job.  I got myself cleared out, relaxed, and enjoyed the holidays.  In that free time I also started to get my head screwed on straight and to make a plan, a good plan this time.

No more screwing around.  No more whining.  No more “I can’t do this.  I don’t have time,” and most importantly I had to admit that I was scared to death.  No matter though because something had to budge.  Fear was no longer an option and I realized that this was it.  It was fight or die.  Write or die.

I hired myself as a part time writer.  I hired myself knowing the pay was going to suck (or be non-existent.) The hours could end up being brutal.  I took the gig knowing it would mean even more time away from my family.  But, really, when it came time to sign on the dotted line, I was doing it for them as much as I was doing it for me.

For now, I’m working only a few shifts a night.  The family, Universe bless them, has agreed on the extra employment.  I’m allowed to hole up in my office and not be bothered.

This evening is my first shift on my new job.

I’m nervous as hell.

Before I get to work I really want to thank Stephen Pressfield for getting me this gig.  He held a bright lamp of truth on me in the form of his book, “The War of Art.”   It took a little over a year for me to get to the point where I could go toe to toe with my Resistance.  You’ll just have to believe me when I tell you it was not easy to even get to this point.  I stumbled, I delayed, I fawned but here I am.  I’m ready to do this.  I cannot recommend the book enough.

You’ll start seeing several more posts from here on out.  Yes, the Allegory Harbor story will continue.  I hope you enjoy it.  I promise to keep you up to date on things as they develop.  There will be times where it will be good to know I’m not slogging through this alone.

Time to get to work, time to hunt.  My boss tells me I can get up every hour or so and stretch but otherwise I better keep my nose down.  If I work till my eyes cross he tells me I can get a cookie and, an extra bonus, a good nights sleep.